I really appreciate the evaluation process. As a writer, it lets me get my work in front of a seasoned writer who can point out weaknesses and suggest changes. This removes it from the realm of my own bias.
Lucky 13, my evaluator, said in a nutshell, "Strong, good emotional connection in the chorus, last couplet in verse 1 could be more romantic than practical. Let it percolate and see if you can make that one change."
That, folks is what I will do. I will be thinking about that last couplet in verse 1 and hopefully come up with something "just right" to tie it all up. In the meantime, I will move on to some other songs and get started on them.